Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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