At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
