Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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