Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
