But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
