Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
