It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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