I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
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