Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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