well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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