doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
