yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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