Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
