I need help removing her.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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