Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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