u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize