i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so let's talk penis.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How does one acquire holy water?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
