I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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