Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
