Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
