I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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