so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
