i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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