also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
