If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
