I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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