I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
