You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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