Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
