I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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