You're my little dorito
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
