I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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