Define "chronic" masturbator.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
