im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
