But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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