The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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