We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
