i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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