never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
