When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
