): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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