so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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