I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
