saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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