It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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