I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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