how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
