theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize