Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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