Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
