That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
All I want is dick and wine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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