Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
