im drinking this country out of the recession.
well you can't waste a boner
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
