i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All the doctor said was why
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
