She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
