Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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