Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize