6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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