I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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