he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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