I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
