I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize