she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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