So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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