He asked to "fluff my boner.."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
