But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
