I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
