Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
