I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize