It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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